Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Ryan Reynolds is a Rummy

That's what the headline says. "Ryan Reynolds sells blah blah blah"... That didn't happen.  First of all, it's not his "drinks brand", whatever the fuck that is. What do you think, Ryan Reynolds is standing around in a distillery all day, brewing liquor? He's not. No offense, but this dummy probably couldn't brew a cup of coffee if he was standing in the middle of the Mr. Coffee factory. But you'd think that he was if you only read the headline. Yes it was sold, but he doesn't get that money, that's not how these deals go. Deals like this are always very complex.

 Let's start with the fact that he doesn't own Aviation Gin. Davos Brands does. And they don't even produce it. My limited search for it's maker didn't turn up anything, but I bet if I spent 10 minutes looking I'd find out. Just like you would. That's what Google and Bing are for you know, they aren't just for finding out what Donald Trump is doing with the post office.  Oh wait look it didn't take 10 minutes, it took 20 seconds.  Ryan Reynolds may be rich, but he didn't buy House Spirits Distillery. He's not that rich. Sorry that's not how any of this works. He may not have even gotten any of the money. Oh sure he may have gotten something, but not $610 million dollars. What do you think, if Brad Pitt stars in commercials for AT&T and then AT&T gets sold for $100 billion dollars, Brad Pitt gets $100 billion dollars? No one is that stupid.

Aren't you the slightest bit curious? Don't you see a story - even the most vapid empty story like this -  and say to yourself, "Gee is that what happens?" and then start typing stuff into Google? You should be doing something other than arguing about whether or not taxing cookies or soda or whatever is a good idea with strangers online. It's 100% unimportant, and it takes two minutes to learn something about this asinine story, and 20 seconds to forget. But you know, maybe something really important will come up, and the fact that you've been exercising your curiosity will help.  Do yourself a favor and start using your head for something other than a place to keep your hat.