Paige VanZant is a Genius

Paige VanZant says Taylor Swit and Travis Kelce's romance is 100% fake.

 'I think that the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce "love story," I believe it's 100 percent fake,' she said. 'It is publicity. It is — one, it's huge for the NFL because yes, the NFL is big. 

'Taylor Swift is huge and now she's getting an entirely different demographic to come watch the NFL. Think of the wives that are buying Travis Kelce jerseys now. It's a huge publicity play on both fronts.'It's good for Taylor Swift, it's good for the NFL, it's good for Travis Kelce. There is so much strategic stuff that's happening.'

You know what? I believe her. But she could probably tell me Captain Caveman lived next door to her and I'd probably believe that too call me crazy if you must. She just looks believable to me that's all I'm saying. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut and my guy says "I believe you Paige! I love you!"

Jennifer Garner is Cute

 Jennifer Garner was at the opening of her new series "Family Switch" and from what I read, she and her husband on the show somehow switch bodies with their teenage kids? I can't believe they're still making shows about this kind of thing. There was a whole bunch of these types of movies in the 80s and 90s that appeared seemingly out of nowhere and they still pop up once in a while it's very odd. In fact Jennifer Garner was already in one of these about 20 years ago.

It seems like there's only so much you could do with this kind of thing but then, they're remaking movies that came out two years ago so I'm not looking to Hollywood for originality or anything.

She's still hot though , Not hot enough to make me sit through this movie/tv show but still plenty attractive

KRISTIN CAVALLARI SEX TAPE

 People are still interviewing Kristin Cavallari, although why I have zero idea, and they're still calling her "The Hills star" too, even though that show went off the air FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.  There must be a weird time bubble in England or something it's really bizarre. If you had a baby the day The Hills went off the air, he'd be a sophomore in high school now learning how to drive a car, that's how long it's been gone.

Anyway, they asked who the hottest guy was she ever fucked and I've never come closer to blowing my brains out as I am right now. Since I read his name I'll tell you who it is. His name is Tyler Cameron, because of course it is. I'll even include a picture here.   I have no idea who he is or what he does. And yep. He's a "Tyler" for sure. If you asked me what that guys name was my first guess would be Tyler. If that was wrong my second guess would be Austin. I'll be honest, he looks like any other standard issue shithead to me but I'm a dude so what do i know. Now you're fully up to date on Kristin Cavallari's sex life. It's pretty much as dull as I'd ever imagined.

Omid Scobie is a Person

 Some guy named "Omid Scobie" - which I read as Scooby like the mystery solving dog - wrote about Meghan and Alex or whatever the fuck that guy's name is and I don't understand why anyone gives a fuck about those two royal family members from a different country but I have a theory. They don't actually care. I'm really only writing this to tell Omid (if that is his real name) to maybe write about his gigantic watch, eyebrows or rings, the Lady Gillette that's in his travel bag, or maybe that sweater polo shirt he's wearing. Maybe people care about that more. I bet they don't, but it's just an idea.

Site Update

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 Here's all the things I'd planned on writing about but never did. I don't even really remember what their original appeal was. Except of course the Elizabeth Hurley one which I'm sure you can figure out.

Here's an idea. Google some things about each topic, write a blog post and I'll publish it here with your name and everything. Or don't, honestly I don't care either way. Maybe tomorrow there'll be a breaking story about Jaime Pressly wearing a bikini or something and I'll write about it. Fingers crossed!

 

Magot Robbie Disappoints Idiots

 Margot Robbie says there won't be any Barbie sequels and my heart is breaking. Where's your mask, imbecile. I know this isn't good but I don't feel like doing this anymore

ZSooey Deschanel is Alive!!

 Good news everybody Zooey Deschanel is still alive! Remember when she was the new "IT" girl in the late 90s or maybe it was the early 2000s? I'm not sure what year it was but I sure remember. I have no idea what happened to her, she just sort of vanished into thin air. Maybe she got sick or something I have no idea. I guess I could investigate like a real blogger but I'm not a real blogger. Or you could do it yourself. That actually seems like a better idea, it'll keep you occupied for a while.

She suddenly reappeared at something called "Trolls SometingSomething". Maybe she's in it, or maybe she's waiting tables there and serving drinks. I always did like those "bangs" (inset) women were getting back then, although I don't think women actually liked having them? I have zero idea, who knows what's going on in their heads at any given moment. This was kind of all over the place so I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and welcome back Zooey. I'll just have coffee.

Margot Robbie Feet Addison Rae Feet

 Margot Robbie (left) and Addison Rae (?) both went to premiers for various movies and/or television shows, and both wore dresses with sheer tops. Isn't that weird? I pointed out that Margot Robbie was on the left because she wasn't wearing her mask at her premier even though it was probably just as crowded there as it was at the airport, and people were most likely all jammed together even more so than at the airport. So why would you wear a mask at one place but not the other?  

My guess would be because she isn't very smart, but I don't know her personally, so it may just be brain damage. Either way I drew a mask on her so she could at least look consistent and I wanted you to be able to recognize her. 

As far as the sheer dress fad thing goes I'm all for it. I like those sheer dresses. And also girls wearing hats with those mosquito nets that hang down? Do you know what I mean? Sort of like a 1950s' Femme Fatale, but with less smoking. Although you can smoke if you want. I'd also prefer it was Gwyneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Hurley, or Jennifer Aniston wearing it because I have zero interest in either one of these two. Sorry ladies.

Chris Pine Feet

Chris Pine went to yoga wearing a yellow sweater. They said that piece of shit sweater cost $2400. Even if you had the money, why the fuck would you pay $2400 for a fucking sweater. First of all, he's a dude doing yoga okay? Secondly - look - even his little slippers match his sweater, proving once again that the paparazzi guys are paid for by the CELEBRITIES themselves to take these pictures. 

If you think Chris Pine left his house dressed like that with his little matching sweater/sandal ensemble, not knowing he'd have a picture taken of him looking all "Devil May Care" about how he's dressed, while he jumps in his Porsche, I have an oil field in downstate Illinois I'd love to talk to you about investing in. 

I have nothing against Chris Pine, at least I didn't, until just this second. Fuck you Chris Pine.

Gwyneth Paltrow Reflects

 More celebrity Instagram selfies... keep em coming. I know I think Gwyneth Paltrow is really hot but let's be honest, if it wasn't for The Daily Mail I wouldn't even know she was still alive. 

Sofia Vergara Feet

 Sofia Vergara posted this picture the other day and then put it on Instagram because that's what people do now, She really is the MILF of all MILFs. I don't think she has any kids but the moniker still applies God she's hot. 

Anyway this wasn't really about her feet because that's like a weird internet shut in kind of thing to be into, but now if someone types "Sophia Vergara Feet" into Google this website will show up. And the more you say it, the better it works. Pretty neat trick huh?  At least that's how things used to work but these days I don't know. I still do it though. 

Anyway, I love you Sophia Vergara's Feet.

Margot Robbie Sympathizes

 

 Margot Robbie is still walking around wearing a mask. Maybe her and David Schwimmer can get together and play cards or something. To be fair she is in New Zealand where, along with Australia, they went full Covid Nazi shipping it's citizens off to literal concentration camps.  People may still be in there for all I know.

Do you know if there are still people in there? What am I asking you for, you don't ask any questions, you just do what the flashing light box in front of you says to do so you wind up being the only person in an international airport wearing an ill fitting piece of paper over your face to help protect you from the tiny boogie man, fighting for everyone's health. God speed mighty warriors. 

Brad Pitt Cruises

Brad Pitt turns 60 next month and I'm not writing about this guy anymore. Now I know how women feel when they look at a picture of Elizabeth Hurley, or any other actress over 40 I guess.  I like Brad Pitt he seems cool but there's only one rooster in this hen house and that's me. So Brad Pitt can go ride his motorcycle somewhere else. Asshole. From now on I'll just write about Paul Giamatti or Adam Driver or something since those guys are so fucking ugly

Kelly Rowlnad Sparkles

 I feel like I should know who Kelly Rowland is. I know I've heard her name but in what context I have no idea. I also don't know why she's wearing that "dress" if you can call it that, but I also don't care, I like it on her and that's all that counts. If you were looking for more information about Kelly Rowland, try Google because her wearing that dress is where my interest stops.

Patrick Dempsey is in the News

 

I thought I'd try writing about some dudes today so here's Patrick Dempsey. He's still on Grey's Anatomy that I had ZERO idea was still being broadcast. This was about some kind of complicated tale about how he's getting divorced, or re-married , or something Jesus Christ, The Daily Mail must hire seventh graders to write their blog posts because I can't make any sense of this and there's no way I'm going to try.

The only thing I've ever seen Patrick Dempsey in was Can't Buy Me Love and that other one with Vic Tayback, I think it was called Lover Boy. If you figure out what's going on here just shoot me a message at deceiverjr@gmail.com and let me know what's happening.Or better yet, don't and just keep it to yourself

Kourtney Kardashian Explodes

 Did you guys know Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant? Well she was. Nobody said it was with a hippopotamus but she did give birth to what they're saying is a human being. Maybe he was already 75 pounds. Imagine being Travis Barker. The poor guy was/is the drummer in the worst band that ever existed, survived a goddamn plane crash and winds up married to a Kardashian. That slob must've been Hitler in a past life or something to get that kind of karma from the universe

Elizabeth Hurley is Super Yellow

 Alright I know I said I wouldn't write about women in bikinis anymore but this is Elizabeth Hurley. If you don't like it, why don't you try calling the cops. Maybe they can help you. I don't know what these pictures were for but what does it matter, this is pretty much all she does anyway.  

BenJen Walk Around

 Here's BenJen or whatever the fuck people call them now, walking around looking miserable again. See? They have a combined net worth of almost three quarters of a billion dollars and they still look like this 24 hours a day.  I don't know where Ben Affleck got $190 million dollars, I think I've seen him in MAYBE two movies, or how Jennifer Lopez got $400 million. 

Honestly, he makes commercials for Dunkin Donuts and Jennifer Lopez hasn't made any music or been in a movie anybody wants to hear or see in at least 25 years, at least that I'm aware of, so I don't know who keeps shoveling money at these two 90s has-beens but they aren't high class jewel thieves or robbing banks so somebody is.

Neigh to Megan Thee Stallion

 

Megan Thee Stallion says her boyfriend Lil Pimp Daddi or whatever the fuck his name is cheated on her. As evidence I show you comments from TikTok, or Instagram that prove everything she said. Don't worry everyone The Bad Papi is on the case. I can't believe it. Nor can I believe how many times I've typed the name "Megan Thee Stallion" over the last few years that didn't end with "was launched into the Sun".

I admit I haven't listened to too much rap music since the 90s but what I have heard doesn't sound all that different from the stuff I heard in the actual 90s, so it doesn't really seem to be evolving all that much. I don't even remember any rappers from the 90s. MC Hammer? Was he a rapper?  Good luck in your relationship Ms Stallion, I hope this latest drama helps you sell an extra 1 million units to super stupid people.

!!!!UPDATE!!!!

I wrote this just three days ago - 72 hours - then forgot I had it here and already nobody cares or even remembers. See what I mean?

Jessica Simpson Question Mark

 Jessica Simpson swears the girl in the middle is her. I swear. That woman is not Jessica Simpson. I ain't buying it. I purposely edited that picture so you could look left to right and imagine her going from her Happy Hippo phase, to her Not Her phase to her Sexy Vixen Period. I know people can look different as they gain or lose weight but that doesn't even look like the same human being. Her face shape is different, her eyes look different... everything about that person is different

Did Jessica Simpson slip up? Did she just prove to us that she's actually a shape shifting lizard person, which is what I've been saying for 20 years? I don't seem so crazy now do I

Doja Cat is Here Today

 Doja Cat wore these clothes and evidentially it's big news. I don't know if the clothes are see through or if that's an optical illusion or what, and honestly I don't care. I'm finding more, and more every day most of these celebrity types drift further and further away from the dividing line where I know or care who they are or what they do. Doja Cat wore see through clothes and "sexy" boots? Yeah? And so? Why should I care? Why do you?

Lather, rinse, repeat. Here today, gone later today. Who will it be next year? Two years from now? Will you even remember Doja Cat's name in the year 2030? Maybe. Do you remember the "It" girl/actor/band/song/ movie from five years ago? Two years ago? I don't. 

Remember the band "Fun"? They were absolutely everywhere in 2013/14. You couldn't get away from them and in fact they won Grammys in six categories ranging from Best New Artist to Best New Record. And now? Do you remember the names of anyone in the group? Or even the name of any of their songs? How about just the song that got played every 12 minutes on just about every pop music radio station (Spotify didn't exist all those years ago. At least as we know it now).  And that was just a decade ago, everyone reading this right now will have a memory from 10 years ago. Remember them? I bet you don't.

I've been talking about pulling the plug on this hobby, maybe it's time but I don't know. Maybe after I find out what Meghan and Harry are up too.

Donald Lives

 

 

 

Richard Roundtree, Matthew Parry, and Suzanne Somers... Somewhere Donald Sutherland breathes a sigh of relief.

David Schwimmer is Crazy

 Someone took more pictures of David Schwimmer. Imagine it being your job to take pictures of David Schwimmer. Of all the hot actresses that walk around in bikinis and lingerie this is the job you get. David Schwimmer. He's the Steely Dan of Hollywood, people pretend to like him.. 

By the way, he was walking around outside alone, by himself, in October of 2023 wearing a mask. If this is you, you need to be told. People think you're insane. There's no gentle or kind way to put it. This is exactly the same thing as walking through a park and witnessing a guy yelling nonsense at a statue. Except when he walks away from the statue, you don't know he spent the morning yelling at a statue, but the mask is there all the time. On your face. Nobody else will say these things to you so I'm just trying to help.