Joy Corrigan is Pretty in Pink

I thought I'd already written something about Joy Corrigan so I'd have something for you people to read, but I guess I didn't so I'm doing this on the fly. You can understand why I wanted to write about her don't you but I guess I just forgot. She was on a catwalk somewhere because shes a model and I'll buy whatever she's selling yadda yadda yadda...  

Anyway, they call her 27 years old but we both know that isn't true don't we Joy. If that is your real name. She's 27 like I'm devilishly handsome. Which is true so maybe she isn't lying after all. Here's her Instagram if you're at all interested. I didn't look at it but I imagine it's endless pictures of her in various states of undress because I assume she has no other outside interests

 

Joy Corrigan is a Rocker

 I know I said I wasn't going to write about nobodies going to Coachella but this is an exception because I have a few questions. By the way that's "world famous" hard body, Joy Corrigan. That picture leads me to my questions. Before I begin I just want to say that "outfit" looks ridiculous. Okay let's begin.

First...Why? Isn't this a musical thing? Where people go see bands? I don't understand when this transitioned into a terrible fashion show for D-List celebrities. Does Coachella even showcase bands? Or is it all secondary character actresses from cancelled CW vampire shows, and the cast of Glee or whatever showing off their fake tits in bikinis. 

Second... Who ARE the bands? After all, it's supposed to be a music thing right? In all the stories I ever see written about Coachella, no one even mentions the bands or musical artists, so I never have even the slightest idea who is playing there.I have to imagine every Coachella is headlined by The Red Hot Chili Peppers (haha), and the rest of it is filled with local and semi-national acts only 70 people recognize. 

I'm basically out of questions because I guess I don't really care all that much, I was just looking for something to write about. The only people that seem to care about Coachella these days seem to live in Europe anyway, and who gives a shit what they think about anything

Joy Corrigan Fills Space

 Joy Corrigan went to the beach, and I haven't written anything else so this is going to have to do. She gets written about a lot. As in a lot. I wonder how that happens, like, who do you contact to get so many stories written about you in such rapid fire succession? Who contacts them for you. Is it some kind of manager? I find it hard to believe someone that probably manages 20 models careers micromanages this kind of thing like that. Especially since I bet fewer than a million people world wide actually know who she is. I'm writing about her right now and I barely know. 

How much do you think that costs? What is the benefit of this kind of publicity? I wish I had inside connections so someone could explain all this to me. She's on the beach in Miami and I'd bet there's a woman that looks better than her in a bikini less than 50 yards away in any direction.  Hard to believe she's 47 years old.

Joy Corrigan is Standard

 

 

 Yesterday was Halloween so that means every B-List model and actress overloaded the Frederick's of Hollywood website for the last 30 days ordering their "sexy veterinarian's assistant" costumes. I honestly don't know how Joy Corrigan dressed up like a cheerleader looks any different than she usually does the other 364 days out of the year. That's probably what she wears to the grocery store on Thursdays.

Seriously, the whole Halloween "sexy whatever" costume trend means absolutely nothing now that hot women are walking around like this in public for no reason pretty much every day. So as usual you shit birds found a way to ruin what used to be a good thing

Joy Corrigan Aged Backward

 Joy Corrigan is a Victoria's Secret model that I was going to fawn over and congratulate for still being so hot at the age of 47. But it turns out she's 26. If I were her I'd stay out of the sun and maybe not smoke or drink or whatever, or the next 20 years aren't going to be kind to her at all.

Joy Corrigan has Gas

 

This is how model Joy Corrigan wants us to think she puts gas in her car. I've been a licensed driver since I was 19 years old (don't ask). I've lived in the third largest city in the country for almost my entire life. My dad was a mechanic, and he let me help him put gas in our car when I was like eight years old. I have been to gas stations probably hundreds of times and never once - not one time -  have I ever seen anyone put gas in their car like this.

So when you guys read a story I wrote complaining that I have nothing to write about because I'm sick of looking at these simpletons, maybe have a little sympathy, okay?

 

Joy Corrigan. Again.

 Joy Corrigan went to a farmer's market dressed like an early 1980's prostitute. I'm not sure why you'd do that but celebrity types are really weird.

Joy Corrigan is Memorable

Here's Joy Corrigan in a bikini. I guess that's a bikini I don't know. I saved this a week and a half ago and have zero memory of the context, what she was doing, or why this was important. I don't even really know why I know who she is.

Joy Corrigan is Old Enough

 I wasn't going to write about model Joy Corrigan because being 27, she doesn't meet my minimum age requirement (35) but I think we can look past that for the time being I mean give me a fucking break.. This is like bribing a fat cop with donuts

Joy Corrigan Aged Overnight

 

 

 !!!!I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! I've been saying this for years.

On Thursday the former Playboy, Victoria's Secret and SI model shared that she has been lying about her age for decades.

As recent as this summer she said she was 28 and insisting she was born in 1995, but now she has admitted that she is actually 35.

And I'm guessing 35 is probably a lie too. Anyone with two eyes and average vision can look at that picture and see that's a 40 or 41 year old woman. And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Shit, practically this entire blog is a love letter to women over 35. It's not a weird fetish thing, it's just my personal opinion (and the correct one) that women get better looking after 35.

I bet she feels better getting this off of her chest. C'mon Joy let's go celebrate. We'll catch the early bird over at Longhorn Steakhouse and we can be home in time for Wheel of Fortune.