Britney is at Elta Davis Red Carpet Gala Festival

Well here's my first Britney Spears story since I came back from that other place. You knew I wouldn't keep you waiting. I was going to say how good she looked in that dress but I'm more concerned about her face being a different color than her body. Why is that? I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about. And frankly I'm not really sure I care too much. Yet.

 Oh and by the way I was told by a certain blogging platform that I need to do a better job of crediting my pictures just before I deleted my account there. If I want to be constantly bitched at, I'll start listening to my girlfriend. So instead of making you looking down into the corner of the picture where they're already labeled for me, I'll go to the extra step of changing the properties of the photo labels from here on out. So in case you have a problem looking down and left make sure you wave your mouse over the picture so you can tell where the picture came from. You'll be like an investigative copy-write attorney or something. Congratulations on your promotion.

Paris Hilton Wears Clothes

Paris Hilton and her plastic robot face were both on the Pier 59 (?) catwalk or runway or whatever it's called at New York's Fashion Week. What, again? Is it fashion week like every three months now? I feel like I just wrote about fashion week like two weeks ago. And the only place I ever see stories about Paris Hilton anymore is/are in the UK papers 

The UK papers are the only tabloids that talk about her anymore because the UK is so desperate for actual celebrities that even Paris Hilton will do. Have you ever seen the UK's celebrities? They're all soccer players, and reality show bimbos so in comparison I guess Paris Hilton must be like Elvis to them. Sheesh.

Oh, well, and of course stories about her will be written by me too because apparently you idiots will read anything. I will say she does look a lot better now that she's 36 than she did 10 or so years ago. I guess. I mean, I don't know. It's Paris Hilton who gives a shit.

Jennifer Lopez Stumbles

Some people are asking if Jennifer Lopez shared this "sexy" photo to her Instagram by "accident". Yes I'm sure that's exactly what happened. It was an accident. She had a professional photographer along with a couple of lighting guys and a make up artist take the picture, then it was handed to her assistant who added filters and photoshopped out any flaws, then it was sent back to her phone where she hit the little Instagram app with her thumb signed on to her account and uploaded the picture, then hit "next",  then the share button so it could be sent to all of her other social media accounts, and then hit "send". All by accident. It must have been like watching Mr. Bean cook Thanksgiving dinner. By the way, I always cover up the simpering comments left on these Instagram photos by creepy men with people that have me blocked on Twitter. There's no reason for everyone to suffer having to read them.

G'Day Britney

 Britney Spears proved she's already prepared for Halloween even though it's nine months away when she showed off her new costume, The Sexy Crocodile Dundee. I'm not sure why a hot girl in a bikini and high heels only garnered 12,000 likes on Instagram, but maybe everyone was busy liking all those pigs dressed up in costumes. Have you ever seen that? So cute! Anyway, she's now way out in the lead for my "Bobby's Best" award so I guess we'll just have to see what Kate Beckinsale and Jennifer Aniston have in store for us come October. I'm always available if they want to send me some pictures. Nothing crazy this time you two you're going to get me in trouble.

Kristen Stewart's Comedy Time Machine

 I didn't watch it because I was too busy repeatedly slamming my head into a wall, but apparently Kristen Stewart kept SNL as timely and on the cutting edge as it usually is by talking about things Donald Trump said about her. Five years ago. While she was at it, she also made jokes about The Dark Knight Rises, The Hobbit and some other things that happened in 2012.  By the way I was looking for an image to use for this post and so I Googled "Kristen Stewart" and that was the first picture I saw. I have no idea if it's from that vampire movie she's in or if she's really one of the undead. You should look into it and if you find out text me and let me know. Oh, what's that? You don't have my number? Yes, I know.

Lena Dunham Stops Eating Things

  Lena Dunham has claimed to find the best weight loss program in history. Want to know her secret? Just elect THE WORST HUMAN BEING TO EVER BE BORN SINCE HITLER and you too can be as thin as a rail!

 “Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food,” she told Stern after he complimented her look. “Everyone’s been asking like, ‘What have you been doing?’ And I’m like, ‘Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight.'”

  Maybe if we elect the next Genghis Khan she'll stop drinking water too. And she told all of this to Howard Stern? Where, at a baseball game? I'm always surprised to find out that guy is still on the radio. hey if you want to listen to Howard Stern knock yourself out. I also wouldn't stop youfrom doing the following things. 1. Sticking forks in an electrical outlet. 2. Throwing yourself off a very tall building. Hey it's your life man.

Hey Gang Look Who's Here!

Well that didn't last very long. I'll be bringing my hilarity and zany insights and poor grammar back here where I don't have people telling me I'm too mean or how big my stories have to be. So Starting later today or maybe tomorrow I'll be back here with stories that will teach you how to love again.  I'll see you soon

Love
Bob