Elliot Page is New on the Scene

 Ellen Page has come out as a man named Elliot. I guess. I must be older than I think because I have no idea how any of this works. 

"I feel lucky to be writing this. To be here. To have arrived at this place in my life," the actor, who was formerly known publicly as Ellen Page, wrote on Instagram. "I feel overwhelming gratitude for the incredible people who have supported me along this journey. I can't begin to express how remarkable it feels to finally love who I am enough to pursue my authentic self."Page said their pronouns are "he" and "they."

 They described him as the star of "Juno" but that was released almost 15 years ago so... Whatever. You can call yourself a hippopotamus for all I give a shit, I have no idea why I'm supposed to care. I'd honestly never even heard of this person before the other day - probably, like I said - because I'm old?

 I swear sometimes I feel like I just got off a troop ship after defeating the German army in WWII.

Site Update

 I didn't write anything yet today. Did I mention I prefer "Disco" Janet over "Perm" Janet? Because I do.

Christine Quinn is Famous

 Christine Quinn posed for Playboy. She's on some Netflix show called "Selling Sunsets". The name of that show sounds super familiar and I'm nearly 100% certain I wrote about someone else from that show, but I have no idea who, so I can't link back to it. 

There are so many niche-famous people now,  it's all but impossible to keep track of them. All the women are blonde, all the men have chiseled features and all of them are every color of the rainbow. 

This one is from Netflix, that one has a You Tube channel, that person is a star on Instagram... and I never know any of their names. I don't think anyone does, and it goes on and on like that. We need to start reigning this in or in a couple years everyone but me will be famous. And trust me, I don't give a fuck about you.

!!!SEXY PRE-POSTING UPDATE!!! I found that story I was talking about if you care. You don't.

Blake and Gwen Sitting in a Tree

 Blake Shelton popped the question and Gwen Stefani said "OMG YES!💖" and then Blake went out and spent more money on an engagement ring than most people in America have in the bank when they retire. $500,000. It's right there in the picture along with those fingernails I hate. For all we know the ring was leased for the photographs. Stuff like that happens all the time in The Land of Make Believe.

They're both in their 40s and 50s, do you really have to get married now? Aren't you supposed to be going to orgies or traveling the country in an RV and stopping at Waffle House at this point? I don't get it. I'd say they should just become swingers and have fun, but I think Gwen would have a lot more success at that hobby, so I can see why Blake would want to settle down if someone would have him. Good luck you wacky kids. I hope the lawyers drew up rock solid pre-nups.

Harry Styles is Confused

Harry Styles thinks we need to bring back "manly men" as is evidenced by his sarcastic tweet up there in the picture. Whatever you say Harry. Why don't you discuss the problem with the guy that threads your eyebrows. Maybe you two can come up with a solution over a couple of glasses of Chardonnay. 

Alexandra Daddario Falls Like Dominoes

It took me a surprisingly long time to write this so you better fucking read it.

Alexandra Daddario is an actress that was in the Baywatch remake with - as the source story describes - Zac Efron, and not the current biggest movie star on the planet, Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne Johnson is so famous even *I* know who he is. Why did they say Zac Efron and not Dwayne Johnson? Is Zac Efron still even famous?  Whatever, that's their business, I'm more concerned with Alex right now. 

She's in Hawaii filming a mini-series of some kind and she went snorkeling. That was the big news. The original story went into shocking detail about what she was wearing (a black bikini), and what she was doing (snorkeling, and walking out of the water), so I wanted to make sure I mentioned that. I was also going to mention how she reminded me of Domino Vitali, played by French actress and model Claudine Auger, in one of the best James Bond movies, "Thunderball",  with title song by Tom Jones, but you people probably think Timothy Dalton was a good James Bond so I'm not going to even bother. I'd for sure rescue her if she somehow managed to get her fin trapped in some coral.

 !!!PRE-POSTING SEXY STORY UPDATE!!!

I was going to save the coveted "Jane Krakowski Award for Excellence in Dipshittery" for someone else, and then she went a took a selfie on the beach right next to the ocean all by herself wearing a mask. I was going to warn her to please be careful in the water because of all the shark attacks that happen in Hawaii,  but now I'm not so sure I care about this pandering idiot.

Carmen Electra is Supernatural

Carmen Electra was asked how to stay youthful looking. I like Carmen Electra, she seems cool enough to me but I don't know where they found Carmen Electra to ask her all of this. I of course don't know her answer to this question, because I just read the headline then saved the pictures. I kind of like the one where she looks like she joined the cast for the 1979 season premier of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century . I bet her secret is pulling her pony tail until her skin looks tight. Or maybe she drinks the blood of young virginal boys. 

I'll never understand the subset of white women that are constantly dressed like it's Friday night at Caminos De Michoacan but it's a thing. I'd buy her a low rider if I could believe me.  Maybe she's the head vampire at the Titty Twister on the Mexico/US border or something like that, and that's her secret. If you ever find out be sure to let me know (please don't do that).