'I was an easy target, I guess. It was painful, it was complicated. I loved working on Ally McBeal, and it just made it sour. I was very sleep-deprived and I was depressed about it. I did think that it was going to ruin my career,' Flockhart admitted.
'I didn't think anybody would ever hire me again, because they would just assume I had anorexia, and that would be the end of that.'
I have only the vaguest memories of Ally McBeal. I remember something about a dancing baby (?) and really not much else.
Honestly I mostly wrote this because I had a girlfriend for a couple of years that really could have been her identical twin. She wasn't as thin as Calista Flockhart, but from 15 feet away you wouldn't be able to tell them apart. She dumped me though. I guess that's life. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose and someti-- FUCK YOU LISA
They included Jane Fonda too but the less I say about her the better.
I don't know if either Michelle or Sheryl won anything besides a continuing place in my heart but love should be the only thing that matters. Even if Sheryl Crow was once dumb enough to suggest people use only one square of toilet paper at a time to save the world because she never had rib tips from that place on Madison Street. Pfft yeah good luck with that
If I were this F-List celebrity I'd be investing whatever money I made whoring myself out into some kind of hedge fund or whatever people with money do because I was going to say she won't look good forever but let's face it she doesn't look good now and it's only going to get worse from here.
You may remember Diane Lane from movies such as "The Fabulous Stains" and... oh wait ... she was in "The Outsiders"? AND "Rumble Fish"?? Shit that's right I forgot all about those movies.
When I was a kid, I was a "troubled" student (big surprise to you I'm sure), and I would spend my afternoons in detention where I read ALL of the SE Hinton books one hour at a time. I don't know if they were aimed specifically at kids like me but somehow I found them. I guess they were sort of the Harry Potters of their day? Kind of? But less nerdy, and with a lot fewer magic wands or whatever the fuck. Maybe S.E. Hinton books are why kids like me grew up to be cool, and Harry Potter books are why you didn't.
By the way that little rocket purse she's holding in that picture? $5000.
The big news nobody is talking about here though is Jewel. Yes that Jewel from the 90s. She's the other one in red. She was part of that whole 90s "Grrrl Power" movement where they wrote terrible songs with acoustic guitars which is kind of like what's happening today with Taylor Swift etc., it's just 30 years later because all of this stuff is cyclical.
Man she looks really fucking hot too. But I wrote this, not to just slobber all over some women that are in their very late 40s, but to give any male reader some advice that might need it. But you need to hear this from somebody you don't know so you know I'm not biased.
Like my dad always told me; If you see a bunch of women - of any age- hanging around together, and one of them is wearing a crown, you need to start running. These aren't the good kind of women. It pains me to say that since Lauren Sanchez and Jewel both look like they just stepped out of a porno. On the other hand, any one of them will have drunken sex with you in your car in the parking lot so I suppose... I don't know... You have to sort of weigh your options here. I've personally been there so I can run but I understand if you want to give it a try.
Rita Ora continues her wild ride into D-List fame. I have been seeing this woman in celebrity news gossip rags for like 5 years, and to this day I have no idea what she does. As far as I can tell she lets people take her picture and then websites describe what she's wearing. It's all very weird. At least she's kind of attractive, in a seven beer kind of way I guess. And boy have I been there.
By the way, "Ted" is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Okay, I have to admit I had such a huge crush on Valerie Bertnelli when I was a kid that it was actually physically painful, so when I make mean comments about her it's kind of like a boy pushing down his classmate at recess. And as a show of support, I bet if I strap a bunch of dynamite to my chest and wander into their lobby, they'll give you back your show.
I LOVE YOU VALERIE
1. Your entire career is based on physical appearance. You're physically the top 1% of women walking the Western World (not to me personally but you know what I mean) and it made you rich. So when things start to change you gotta be ready for this kind of reaction. You're only now experiencing what regular people have gone through since the sixth grade
2. You're on Instagram. The second worst place on the internet. It's just an arm of Facebook now (the first worse place), so you're going to be reading comments from Pakistani teenagers that have never even seen a flushing toilet. It's 2024 and plenty of people in countries I wouldn't visit on a bet, and are still shitting in holes in their backyard, are talking about how someone else doesn't look good. Are you going to take their opinions about your physical appearance seriously? They should try to get indoor plumbing before they start criticizing other people's physical appearance.
On the other hand she says "I'm 38 not 14" like she's Old Lady Foley from the general store which is kind of a weird thing to think of yourself, especially at 38, but I'm not a psychiatrist. I've always liked her name. It seems unwieldy but it sort of rolls of your tongue. Plus I just like the name Michelle. So c'mon Michelle let's go fight Pakistan together.
Hugh Hefner's last wife Crystal wrote a book about what it was like during her "stay" at the Playboy Mansion and it's pretty much what you'd expect. Sex, orgies, parties, Hugh was a controlling person yadda yadda yadda blah blah scoobidy doo...
I very obviously have never been there so I can't dispute anything she said and I probably wouldn't even if I could. I mean, who really cares anymore. Hugh Hefner died seven years ago, the Playboy Mansion has been sold and I don't even know if Playboy Magazine even exists anymore.
I will dispute one thing however. She says she's 37 and I'm like okay sure you are. Don't get me wrong she's hotter than the Sun but c'mon Crystal let's not start off our relationship with a lie. I don't get this whole age thing but you people are a bunch of whackadoos so maybe that's why people feel the need to shave eight or 10 years off their age. I feel we can work through this little fib though.
I was going to write about Natalie Portman and how her husband cheated on her but nobody cares. Imagine looking like Natalie Portman and your husband still cheats on you. One of them has a huge flaw that would cause this and since I'm a man I'll just assume it's her.
Britney Spears was naked on a beach again. Why? Nobody said why, but I just want you to know Brit it's okay. In fact, I encourage this. Be naked, Be free, if you want to throw on some heels that's fine too or maybe like those boots those equestrian girls wear.
Okay listen this was supposed to be just a throw away post because I won't be near a PC today until long after 6pm so I was going to just whip something together and now I've veered into some sort of weird Britney Spears sex-fiction. Anyway Britney call me please. Right away.
Too late.
Elizabeth Hurley put on a bikini which is usually a momentous occasion for me but I've been helping my brother move for what seems like the last 94 days and I see this picture and all I can think is, maybe I'll check back later. I love you Liz I'm just worn out but don't worry I'll be back. Trust me. Don't get dressed
One of these two is a "star" of "Ted Lasso", and the other was the star of "Orange is the New Black" which is a name I haven't heard in about 10 years, add that to the fact that I've never seen either of these piece of shit TV shows that seemed to be aimed exclusively at super white women that drink too much Trader Joe's wine and drive Honda Odysseys, (it is a quality car I'll say that much) both of these people could vanish into a black hole - tits and all - and I'd never notice. Safe journey Waddingham Bear
I can only see it now, I don’t think it necessarily started off that way, but I also think that the fact that I was there at all, it was percolating,' the star, who came out in 2017, said of the 2008 teen vampire romance. 'It’s such a gay movie.'
People online have been calling Twilight gay for at least 15 years so I don't know where she's been. She's still gay though, so props to her for not just trying to be "with it" and a "hep cat" trend follower since these days everyone except me seems to be gay.
She also hated Charlie's Angels which I forgot was even a movie.
'I hated making that movie. I don’t know what else to say'.
You could say you're sorry for starters. Just because people want to watch a cheesy TV show from the 70s starring some of the hottest women that ever walked the earth, it doesn't mean they want to sit through a two hour shit-fest staring people they barely remember even 5 years later. Who else was in the Charlie's Angels reboot? Do you even know? Did you remember Kristen Stewart was even in that? I sure didn't so hurray for me I guess.
Kelly Clarkson (center) lost a bunch of weight and she looks good! Or at least as good as Kelly Clarkson could look. They blathered on and on about her diet but most people don't actually care, they'd rather just balloon up and get the surgery later.
I can't fucking stand Jon Cryer though. Even just the sight of him fills me with rage. Andrew McCarthy and James Spader too, all three of them can fuck off as far as I'm concerned I don't care what their diet is
Jeremy Renner is fighting with his girlfriends family. This is like a real life episode of Live PD, or Cops or something. Her name is Amber (of course) Monson and she's apparently an ex-con or something but I'll be honest, I lost interest in this story when I saw her before and after picture. I get it because the first one is a mugshot but c'mon that doesn't even look like the same human being.
I'll link the original story here in case you're interested in this Hillbilly Prom Night but I'm not, I didn't even know Jeremy Renner was out of the hospital. And anyway, I'm sure she's only with him because he's rich and he has a bottomless refill for pain killers.
'This is to confirm that Ms O'Connor died of natural causes,' a spokesman for Southwark Coroners Court said. 'The coroner has therefore ceased their involvement in her death.'So there you have it, you can relax now. Maybe ask the orderly to add a little extra voltage to your next electroshock therapy session. It'll be like a treat!
I hate to break this to Jeannie Mai but "Jeezy" will just find another mentally challenged fame chaser and have sex with her. This of course is assuming "Jeezy" is famous for something beyond having a stupid name. He's probably already forgotten what you look like, and the kid? I'd be more worried about getting child support from some guy named Jeezy then whether or not he knows "what he's missing". But of course you won't do that because you're dumb and your priorities are totally out of whack.
'Kathy is just over 60 but still feels in her thirties and wants to enjoy life and has a fun and focused outlook on life and Randy did share that with her.'
However, the source added: 'As of late, Randy was more content with being a homebody and instead of growing together, they started growing apart.
Translation: Kathy wants to be a swinger and go to orgies because there's no way a 63 year old is out partying and going to clubs until 3am. That gets old before 30. If it takes that long. Believe it or not I don't have a problem with Kathy Griffin I thought she was kind of funny, I even found her attractive for a couple years there in the 90s .(because she's funny). But of course she's a Lefty numbskull so I wasn't surprised by anything she did, or her political opinions.
If you're even remotely on the left I know what you think about everything without even asking. You have a static mind, remained fixed in it's place, just waiting for your chance to turn into a little Mussolini. In fact, she probably still walks around in a mask and talks about "empathy". I swear you people still sound like someone in the comment section of Fark in 2002.
Halle Berry dressed like this for New Year's Eve. Why? Your guess is as good as mind and it's not like I'm complaining. I also don't know why that elevator is so small. Maybe she had it designed just for me and her and I think you know what I'm saying. I'm tired of stairs.