Saturday, January 15, 2022
Sofia Vergara is Miraculous
It's Saturday and I didn't really feel much like sifting through the celebrity garbage dump today, and then as luck would have it, Sofia Vergara was posting pics on her Instagram from her modeling days in the 90s. Honestly I felt like I won the lottery. Maybe not the big lottery but one of those where you get four numbers and you win $100 or maybe a free ticket on one of those scratch off things. She looks like a cartoon superhero for God's sake. And honestly unless she fell down a flight of stairs or something last week and I just haven't heard about it yet she pretty much still looks like this (Good lord). It's something about Colombia. ALL the women look like this there, (Click here for a picture of Esperanza Gomez) it's a goddamn freak show. I wish it wasn't such a horrible, dangerous place to live or I might consider moving there. So if you're reading this Sofia, and you want to move back to Colombia and you need someone super manly to protect you, just let me know