American Idol person Bobby Bones (what?) got married. Remember American Idol? Hoo boy what a show. Some of the people there included, retired tennis pro Andy Roddick, Charlamagne Tha God, Dierks Bentley, Jake Owen, and Chuck Wicks. Holy shit wait. Not THE Chuck Wicks?! Fuck. I don't know why I'm writing about this. I've never heard of a single one of these people and weddings are worse than slamming your fingers in a car door.
How can someone named Bobby Bones be famous enough that his wedding getting written about on at least two celebrity gossip sites and I've never heard of him. Ever. Not a single microscopic thing have I ever heard of this guy. I didn't even know his name until I read the first story. His new wife is hot though. Too hot for him. Listen Michelle (she looks like a Michelle although I have no idea what her name is), if you get tired of his shit you know where to find me. Just look near the dumpsters by AutoZone. I'll be there.
