Heather Graham is on vacation in Italy with her boyfriend, the 1984 version of Bruce Willis. This isn't a vacation. What does Heather Graham do to vacation from? At some point these stop being vacations and are better described as just how they live. Which is fine, if you worked hard enough to get to a point where you can jet to Italy for a dip in the ocean it's fine with me, but don't jerk me around and pretend like your life is so hard being retired at age 51.
And anyway, at this point the rest of the world hates Americans so why are you giving them money? There are 12,383 miles of coastline surrounding the US, you couldn't find a pretty beach here? What did you want to do, go to Italy so you can see people transport farm animals on the back of a motorcycle? Maybe you can watch them drive around some sheep in the back seat of their car, so they can take them home to sleep in their mud hut. Maybe she's slowly working her way to Romania so she can join a gypsy caravan like it's still the 1400s. Watch out for Dracula. Hey maybe you can ward him off with some garlic. Get some in Italy, it's probably sold in vending machines there.
