This guy was named James King and he weighed 900 pounds. My motorcycle doesn't weigh 900 pounds. I searched and searched for the original story, but I think it was flushed down a memory hole because now it's nowhere to be found. You see he died a couple of days ago and the !!!SHOCKING HEADLINE!!! from a few days ago said he died from Covid-19, but it turns out that wasn't the case at all. If you think back a few sentences, you'll see that I mentioned he weighed NINE HUNDRED POUNDS and guess what happens to people that weigh almost a half a ton. Their hearts stop. I didn't even realize a human being could weigh as much as a juvenile hippopotamus but there he is. Or was. Not everyone dies from Covid-19. Sometimes people just die.
