Maybe I'll see you tomorrow or the next day, and if not, I hope you have a Happy and Healthy New Year
Bob
You know how you're driving along somewhere, and you see some guy kind of roll through a stop sign? That's how much I care about tennis. Or at least that's how much I cared about tennis until I saw Boris Beckers' girlfriend Lilian de Carvalho Monteiro (right). Nobody seems to know too much about her except that her name is Lilian de Carvalho Monteiro, and she's in her 40s so this keeps getting better all the time.There's your big Boris Becker news, if you want to know more about tennis get fucked because no one else cares.
"Actress" Blanca Blanco who I've shockingly written about before, ridiculously enough, put on her sexy Santa costume and did her hair and full make up then went to the beach. I don't get this at all and it happens A LOT. Not the sexy Santa thing, the going to the beach thing. There are so many go nowhere, nothing stories about celebrities at the beach - especially D-List actresses - that I don't even write about it anymore. I guess it gives them an excuse to go out dressed in clothes you're supposed to have sex in so other women don't call them sluts for it, but it seems so... I don't know, dumb. I guess.
This time it was more or less an advertisement for some book she wrote which hilariously has her standing on the beach in her sex outfit holding the book as if to say "Look! I can spell and write!" Of course it's about abuse or something because if it wasn't for talking about being victims 98% of you wouldn't have anything to say at all.
So go buy her book, hey who knows, maybe she'll throw in some of her worn clothing if you do buy it because I can't imagine that many people actually reading this
Kelly Clarkson blazed a new trail in the fight for women's equality by being forced to allow what some consider a goldbricking ex-spouse to live in a ranch she paid for, for free.
He has been living in it and said he doesn't have the financial means to afford to purchase a residence of his own at this time, citing the unresolved financial aspect of their divorce.'
Earlier this year, Us confirmed that the former American Idol winner would be required to pay her ex $150,000 per month in spousal support. Clarkson must pay Blackstock $45,601 per month in child support, bringing the total owed to him each month to $195,601, according to court documents.
Oh my God that's so unfair. It's such a shame that this could happen to her. A woman. Like dying of a heart attack at work, or being expected to work 16 hour days, this is only supposed to happen to men. What is the world coming too?
I'm sure the comments on the source material would be brilliantly funny but I don't read the comments anywhere. Hell I don't even read the comments on my own website, which I turned off years ago. I don't need you lunatics stinking up the place with your middling IQs and dull insanity.
Anyway, keep fighting the good fight Kelly, before you know it, women everywhere will be expected to accept full responsibility for their own lives all the time, and not just when it's convenient for them.
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Kate Beckinsale got dressed up like a crazy bag lady, then pushed her cat around in a clear aquarium on wheels while she pretended to shop for lingerie because being hot isn't enough, now you have to be weird too. I can't imagine being with a nearly 50 year old woman this desperate for constant attention. Not for anymore than two or three weeks anyway.
Sarah Jayne Dunn went to the beach in Dubai and desperately tried to not get her hair or makeup wet. She was an actress on some British TV show and I wasn't at all interested in who she was until I found out she was fired from the show she was on (Ed: Hollyoaks? Who knows) because she has a "racy" OnlyFans account, which, since she's a former actress means it'll probably get a lot more racy. She'll probably make a lot more money on OnlyFans anyway. Well, not from me I don't ever pay for that kind of thing. You guys have heard about the rest of the internet, right?
By the way, take my word for it, I am NOT against OnlyFans, trust me, even though I've only seen snippets I can tell you, they are doing The Lord's work and I could only dream of having a girlfriend that sexually adventurous but maybe just not this idiot.
I missed a day or two here ( I wrote this on Monday I think) and then I came back just this morning to find all the usual nitwits populating the celebrity rags, which doesn't really surprise me since your tribal impulses means everyone has to talk about the same things all the time. It's an evolutionary thing that comes from being stupid. But then I saw Shakira and she was the hottest woman I saw so I decided I'd talk about her new dance competition? See, I've written about her before so I can share the links in this post and while you're clicking on those I can run away and do something else. It's called being a writer with a plan
The opening of Fast and Furious 10 has been pushed back until May 2023, which is a shame because now the mouth breathers that have been waiting for it will have to keep waiting. Here's an idea, just edit together a bunch of clips from Fast and Furious 1-9 and show them that, they'll never know the difference
Kristen Wiig joined some kind of cult - you can always tell by the hair - and then went to the Museum of Modern Art. Probably to case the joint so they can steal paintings. I don't know why you'd steal modern art but to each their own. Normally I love short hair on a woman, but... I've seen her with other short hair styles and she's as hot as fuck. But not this time. It looks like she went into Super Cuts and asked for the "Mike from Accounting" cut. Don't these people have stylists? If she has one, they need to be fired, like, immediately.
So... Apparently people are talking about the "new" Sex in the City. I see an awful lot of chatter about it, mostly by stupid people. Why? I watched - I think one episode - of the original series and wanted to blow my brains out eight minutes in. It was very, very hard to watch. Everyone in that show was so pretentious and deeply unpleasant, it ruined my opinion of women for at least five years after that until my brain mercifully disappeared it's memory into a misty haze. All I kept thinking was, "Is this what women are like when men aren't around?" It was really, really awful. It almost drove me to being gay. True story.
The 59-year-old actor came to a mutual agreement with Sony Pictures Television — which produces the series — to leave the production immediately, Deadline reported on Wednesday.
Elsewhere in his Vanity Fair interview, Garlin defended himself after he was accused of having a 'physical and verbal' incident with a stand-in.
A person who claimed to have witnessed the incident said that he screamed at a female stand-in, 'Why are you always in my way? Get the f*** out of my way,' as she walked in front of him down a ramp.
He allegedly then told her husband, also a stand-in, to 'tell your wife to get the f*** out of my way.'
If someone was verbally abusive to me, I wouldn't report them to HR, I'd punch him square in his bloated fucking face. That's the problem with people in the world today. They all go running to mommy instead of leveling these assholes. Still most of what was revealed in the article I skimmed honestly doesn't seem all that bad. You bunch of fruit loops in California really need to get a little thicker skin. Seriously. From what I've read you wouldn't last 10 seconds at a regular job. Bunch of vaginas.
I meant to write about Dorit Kemsley last week because holy fucking shit but I forgot why I was going to write about her. Besides the obvious I mean. She's on some show somewhere and I need to find out where. Christ, she looks like she escaped from a Nazi Perfect Woman Laboratory. This is one of those times when I don't know what else to say. To bad she has "the eyes". And I think you know exactly what I mean. Isn't that right, Mein Fuhrer
I know I said I wasn't going to write about Jennifer Aniston anymore, but how could I not? Let's be serious. How can anyone wear nothing but a hat, pants and bikini top still somehow make it look classy? I don't know, maybe she isn't human. To be fair I dig chicks in hats, yeah I know it's kind of a weird thing but what are you going to do, call the cops?
I know what I said about her constantly wearing masks and talking about vaccines but that seems to have eased up quite a bit with a lot of these people. So I can guarantee that was little more than virtue signaling to the mentally ill chimp crowd so they wouldn't set her house on fire or something. And let's face it, she's in her mid-50s now, and she's probably feeling her age a little and maybe Hollywood isn't as nice to her these days, so she could probably use all the help she can get. I honestly don't know how bankable she still is, the last movie I know she was in starred Adam Sandler. Don't take any of that the wrong way, because I would support anything she does, but the fact of the matter is there are vast numbers of people alive today that think Bruce Willis is an old timey actor. My guess would be she's still an A-List type but I have no idea, I get more and more disconnected from this kind of stuff every day.
Anyway, she was interviewed by The Hollywood Reporter but no one is sure why because no one reads that.
Halle Berry, Jennifer Hudson and Taraji P. Henson (not pictured because I don't care about them) were at the fourth annual Celebration of Black Cinema & Television. I hope they honored "Car Wash". What a horrible movie. It was of it's time - 1976 - but it's still pretty bad. It's really little more than a Blaxploitation movie with a bigger budget and a couple of big stars. There's cool black guys, afros, of course the boss is a GREEDY JEW type etc., etc. I mean sure I watch it every time I catch it on cable but just so I can sit and exercise my cringe muscles.
I still think Halle Berry looks better with short hair but I also thinks she probably looks better naked so maybe don't listen to me. I bet the worst part about being a celebrity is constantly looking like you're dressed to go to the prom. Why on Earth would you want to go through all of that twice a week? You people are lucky I even wear pants on a daily basis, I couldn't imagine having to constantly wear a black suit in the California heat.
And by the way, Kate? Those are the kind of shoes I'm talking about. See? No platforms, and she's two inches shorter than you. Still maybe all three of us can get together and discuss various high heels. You can try them on and walk around while I "critique" them. You know, for fashion.
Hey everybody Jennifer Lawrence is pregnant! Congratulations being the first woman in history for managing this miraculous feat. There's those polka dots though. I feel sort of bad for her. When's the last time you thought about Jennifer Lawrence? She was maybe the most famous woman on the planet not even two years ago and now? I don't know, maybe it's just me.
Billie Eilish continues her Low Self Esteem tour by showing up at a public event where people can see her, 40 pounds (at least) overweight and dressed like this. It's not good. How do I know? I know. Trust me I know. Somebody should do something to help this poor kid. She's like, 19 years old, and I'm sorry, it just isn't right, someone needs to have a long heart to heart conversation with her. But who knows maybe this is why people like her so it's really none of my business.
Jen Shah is on one of those "Real Housewives..." shows, that antisocial dullards watch. I'm not 100% sure but I think she's famous for being the bottom face on all those Hawaiian totem poles. I think I read somewhere that she's accused of some kind of telemarketing fraud? That shouldn't even be illegal. If people are stupid enough to buy stuff from strangers over the phone they should get taken for everything they have.
Believe it or not I actually like her dress, but as usual I HATE her shoes. Couldn't they just be regular shoes why why why do they have to be platforms? She's 5'7 so it's not really necessary to make her taller, 5'7 is a good height for a woman. Any shorter - say 5'4 and under you're considered "adorable". Anything above 5'10 is scary to a lot of guys. Not to me of course because I'm more manly than most guys. And I actually happen to like tall women. Listen Kate, a normal strappy, sexy high heel would have been fine, now you just look like a stripper that got dressed at work.
Dakota Johnson was interviewed in Town & Country Magazine about some nonsense but man isn't she attractive? How can people be this attractive there needs to be some kind of law or something. See? She's fully clothed and in fact totally covered in the picture on the left and I still think she's as hot as all get out. Look how cosmopolitan I am now.
See, fads will start in California and slowly move toward the east. So let's say blue hats become all the rage in the year 2022. So by 2024 the Blue Hat Fad reaches Chicago, 2025 New York. But it takes longer to filter across the ocean so it'll be probably 2030 by the time Englanders are wearing blue hats. Hell they just got Beatle boots over there and the Beatles are FROM there. Hopefully Rita has enough money to buy a low-rider because they're expensive and that fad from the 70s should be reaching them any day now.
I'm not belittling her accomplishment believe me, because this is like the second or third time she's done this, and believe me it's not easy to lose 100 pounds. Shit, it's not easy to GAIN 100 pounds. That takes some effort too, I don't care how many babies you have, 100 pounds is a lot. For reference 100 pounds is 11 one gallon containers of milk. That's how much 100 pounds is. Maybe she has so much fun losing weight she just packs it all back on again who knows, some people are weird. Especially someone that would put that carpeting on their stairs.
Believe it or not the original story wasn't entirely clear about who she married so I'm going to assume it's the guy on the right. Listen ladies, after the age of 40 you're just going to have to date/marry guys with goatees. You may not like it, but that's just how it goes. I don't make the rules, if I did Tamara would have married someone else last weekend (me).
Nickolas Cage or however you spell it dressed like this because no one told him not too. I have a hard time making fun of Nick Cage because he's in one of my all time favorite movies, Raising Arizona. It's probably in my top 10. And he's also in a movie called Drive Angry that's surprisingly good despite the fact that it's actually pretty stupid. Kind of. It's hard to explain. He's not dressed like that in the movie although the bad guy is kind of. But cooler. Know what I mean? Of course you do. Anyway, go watch those movies, I'll be expecting a full report on my desk by 7 am tomorrow morning.
Good news everybody! Natalie Imbruglia has a new album! I swear to God I haven't heard a Natalie Imbruglia song since roughly 1996 or 1997 so I have no idea who's excited for this, still, I assume someone is. I mean besides her family. Believe it or not, despite what you often hear coming out of your speakers, record companies try as hard as they can to not flush money down the toilet so I assume they're counting on a lot of nostalgia for this. The only reason I'd go back to the 90s would be to find out why her little song got shoehorned between Nirvana and Pearl Jam on heavy rotation at the local "Alternative Music" station. Would anyone care to explain that to me?
You can't just say "Oh look! I'm gay now!" just so you can sell a few extra albums, or movie tickets, no way. So suck it or get the fuck out. I hardly even remember what Aaron Carter is famous for. Maybe he's famous for that face tattoo that I'm sure he doesn't regret at all. In fact I thought it was a giant scab like maybe he fell down the stairs at an all gay orgy or something.
Clockwise from the top are, Demi Moore, X-Files lady (I think), some asshole, some asshole, Kate Beckinsale, Golf Club Legs, Crack Head, Other Assholes, She Hulk, and last but not least, some asshole.
Save that picture for your files because five years from now you might remember two of those people. There's your Fashion Awards 2021 wrap up. I hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as I enjoyed uploading that picture and typing these words.
!!!BREAKING UPDATE!!!
I learned her name by accident. Melanie Hamrick? I think?
Anyway, back to the glasses...
Priced between £130 and £300, they cast an artificial blue light over the face and eyes which, it is claimed, improves mood, regulates sleep and eases depression, anxiety, chronic pain and seasonal affective disorder.
Boy you people get stupider every day, it's unbelievable. You're the ones that fall for those "bankers hate this one trick" advertising. Someone has too, if they didn't work they wouldn't do them. But go ahead, put on your magic glasses, maybe they'll help protect you from Orbican or whatever Covid strain you totalitarian hypochondriacs are worried about now.
I can go to any shopping mall right now and find probably ten, 24 year old women that are better looking than her. And probably twice as exciting too. On the other hand she is 24 years old and we all know how they are these days. It would probably be like talking to that guy they have strapped to the bed in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.
I don't know whether she won or lost because the only thing I care less about than Olivia Jade is whoever Pete Davidson is dating now, especially since he seems mostly attracted to skanks. Which, believe me, I totally understand, I suppose it's a phase we all go through. Fortunately for me I don't need to see the skanks I dated on Yahoo! News or wherever the fuck they write about these gross people.
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